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Archaeologia Cantiana Vol. 14 -1882  page 27

Smarden Church by the Rev  Francis  Haslewood

   Fox relates, in his "Book of Martyrs":
   How one Drayner, bearing a grudge against Gregory Doddes, parson here, made on the roode lofte nine holes, that he might look about the church in mass time. In which place alway, at the sacring, he would stand to see who looked not, or held not up his hands thereto, which persons so not doing he would trouble and punish very sore. Whereby he purchased a name there, and is called to this day Justice Nine Holes. It so fell out, the said Drayner came to the Printer's house demanding, Is Fox here? To whom answer was given that Master Fox was not within. Is the printer within? quoth Drayner. It was answered Yea. Mary, saith he, you have printed me false in your book:— It is false, I made but five holes with a great auger, and the parson made the rest. It was answered, I have not read that a Justice should make him a place in the Roodlofte to see if the people held up their hands. He said, It is untrue, for I set as little by it, as the best of you all.
   Indeed, saith the printer, so we understand now, for your being at a supper in Cheapside among certain honest company, and there burdened with the matter said then, that you did it rather to look upon fair wenches than otherwise. And so he parted in a rage.

  The present door hangs upon the original iron staples found built into the wall.
   The following entry informs us when the doorway was closed:
1597, To Thomas Hopper for makinge up the dore which hath
               gone to rodelofte ij s.


   The AUMBRY AND NICHES were no doubt used in connection with altars close by. There were formerly several side altars in different parts of the church, old records mentioning the image of St. Michael the patron Saint, the altar of the Blessed Virgin, John the Baptist, and others. A stone seat may also be observed occupying the recess of the window.

WINDOWS.
   As to the windows of the nave, it would appear

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